What do we consist of?

If I start writing again... will anybody read it?

I think I'm having a quarter-century crisis. Why else would I want to start writing again two days before my bday? Things have changed a lot since my last entry. Althought it'd be a lie to say I've changed at all. Ultimately perhaps priorities have changed... expectations of others have changed... but me? Same crazy raging woman inside :o)

To help put things into perspective, I used to think I've already seen a lot, but I guess I haven't seen all that much afterall. Now that's something worth living for... to finish coloring the world, in red.

I happened to read one of my friend's Xanga's today and saw that he was writing about exactly what I had been meaning to talk about... so don't think I'm copying off your entry, Johnny. haha. Sometime last week, someone brought up the topic of Good Girl vs. Bad Girl. We were discussing how guys want to date bad girls but marry good girls. And I agreed that girls had the same view on guys. Then we got into discussing whether I was a good girl or bad girl. I'd always wanted to believe that I was a good girl with bad streaks. And sure, there have been a few things I've done in my life to validate badness... but perhaps only bad in terms of the environment I grew up in but not at all bad in terms of the average American. Having said that, and not having ever truly gone through a "bad" streak, am I still allowed to go through one at 22 without affecting the rest of my life? haha. I think the Ramones (San Ramon that is) may be getting to my head.

Earlier today a friend and I were talking about fate. I've prolly already written an entry about it sometime in the past year, but I just can't seem to stop thinking about it now. Will who I choose to be with or what I do with my time drastically change where I may end up? Or has it already been decided and no matter what brilliant/stupid decisions we make, it has all been ordained? I'm torn between the two, because while I think people should at least attempt to make smart decisions in life, if you're meant to be hit by a falling airplane, the airplane will land regardless. Okay, that's a bad example. Take that as an analogy instead. :oP If you date someone questionable now, do you risk the chance of not meeting The One because you're not opening yourself up the possibility of it? Or will you end up with the one you are meant to be with regardless because that's what's been pre-determined before you were even born?

Did I ever tell you how much I like emode tests?

			Cari, when it comes to love or money, you're a Hopeless Romantic For richer? For poorer? It doesn't matter to you because you're the Hopeless Romantic. Whether your sweetie is an oil baron or a grease monkey, it's all about until death do us part.

Interesting. My friends argue it's ambition over money that i care about, but apparently love is alright too. :o)

All I have to say is I love Newlyweds. The sad thing is, though I can catch a lot of Jessica's stupidity, I can totally see myself saying some of the same things. Susan and I always joked that if someone taped our lives, they would be highly entertained. I doubt they would be now but I'd like to think that certain stupidity makes good comedy. Like, for example, when my fridge wouldn't close cuz we had too much food in the door part and we just couldn't figure it out. My dad told me to duct tape the door shut and so we did. Ah, I kind of miss moments like that now.

Lately everyone's noticed that I'm sorta on the prowl. Something must've sparked this newfound interest in checking out people in a very harmless way. Of course you'd agree with me that there's nothing wrong with eye candy, right? Heck, I totally forgot to check out guys in college (ok, not really true) but I'm making up for it now. Ever sit there in traffic on the Bay Bridge and just look at people in the cars next to you? A few weeks ago a coupla us were there and everyone had their windows rolled down and people were talking. Too bad all the hot ones only wanted to talk to the carload of decked out white girls ahead of us. Some ugly guys tried to pick us up but we shot them down and it was kind of awkward having to drive by them through the traffic. But otherwise, again, people watching is cheap entertainment. If only SR had more interesting sights.